As above.
Coby says:
"I'm tall, slim, guy with a 7 inch cock.
I'd love to get you on all fours, and lick your pussy and asshole until you're satisfied, then fuck you doggystyle nice and hard until you scream, for starters."
Notes: 7 inches is not too bad but that whole encounter sounds kind of standard. Do girls who post on Craigslist want standard encounters? My guess is: no.
Status: FAIL
Ryan says:
"I am married and am not looking for a partner although I have an opening this Sunday to do something naughty.
You would have to come to my office because I am working but would there I could do bad things to you or have you do terrible things to me.
I take pleasure from pain and would love for you to beat me, abuse me, use me..
I am also great at giving pleasure so could do everything you wanted, eat you, fuck you, spank you.
All for the fun of it."
"I am married and am not looking for a partner although I have an opening this Sunday to do something naughty.
You would have to come to my office because I am working but would there I could do bad things to you or have you do terrible things to me.
I take pleasure from pain and would love for you to beat me, abuse me, use me..
I am also great at giving pleasure so could do everything you wanted, eat you, fuck you, spank you.
All for the fun of it."
Notes: "I have an opening"? Really, Ryan? So nice of you to squeeze me into your tight schedule before you squeeze yourself into my tight vag. And come to your office? Where the fuck do you work? I'm pretty sure if I brought a dude I'd found on Craigslist to my office for a wild sex romp my supervisor would make some calls to payroll and take those hours out of my wage. Or, you know, fire me. Your saving grace is that I have weird misandric issues and the idea of abusing and beating a man seems fun. Wonder if you'd be cool with me kicking you in the balls a few times and then leaving? Suspect not.
Status: FAIL
Toby Jones says:
"I am late 40’s and I work out daily, I hope that you would see something in me and yes I would love to have some fun with you. You look great so I hope to hear back from you. If you require $’s I can Help,"
"I am late 40’s and I work out daily, I hope that you would see something in me and yes I would love to have some fun with you. You look great so I hope to hear back from you. If you require $’s I can Help,"
Notes: This is a bit awkward since I know a Toby Jones. He's in his 50's but lying about age (as well as size, appearance, relationship status and also EVERYTHING) seems to be the norm in sex listings so it might be the same guy. My Toby Jones definitely doesn't work out every day. He is a real estate agent. He has a beer gut. He drives a car with his name written on the side. I do appreciate this guy's offer to Help me out financially however I don't think residential real estate agents earn that much money and he only used one $ symbol so he probably wouldn't Help enough to buy me a 1963 Triumph Thunderbird and 5 grams of coke, which is what I really want.
Status: FAIL
Roy says:
"Hi Babe,
Yes I am a dirty guy that will do to you what ever you want to be done to you, I love all sorts of things, I can meet today if you wish and we could have some serious fun. Hope to hear back from you very soon."
"Hi Babe,
Yes I am a dirty guy that will do to you what ever you want to be done to you, I love all sorts of things, I can meet today if you wish and we could have some serious fun. Hope to hear back from you very soon."
Notes: Ohh. I meant dirty as in 'doesn't bathe', not 'sexually deviant' dirty. That's disgusting, Roy. NEXT.
Status: FAIL
Jeff Blank says:
"Hi you certainly are beautiful and sexy,i am gentle and sensual would start by kissing you, kissing my way down your neck whilst i run my hands up your top so i can feel your silky skin gliding my hands over your back and up your sides, kissing my way down to your breasts kissing you through your top then with my hand undoing your bra and taking it and your top off holding you up against my bare chest i love the feel of bare breasts against my chest , reaching down i run my hand up your leg untill i have your ass cheeks in my hands gently squeezing them now as i kiss your bare breasts i trace around your nipple with my tongue until it becomes hard with excitement my hand now moves to your front every so gently brushing your pussy through your panties until i can feel the fabric of your panties becoming moist now i start to kiss my way down your stomach stopping at your belly button and giving it a nice tender lick , my excitement grows as i can smell your desire kissing down to your panties i feel the wetness on my lips and my excitement is at boiling point as i slide your panties down your gorgeous legs i can now finally taste your desires licking and sucking your sweetness you hold my head tight against your pussy as you approach orgasm moaning loadly as you cum allover my tongue, i now sit and with you facing me i lower you down on my rock hard cock slowly you slide up and down getting faster as our excitement builds until we both explode with orgasm blowing my hot cum deep inside you as a mix of both of us oozes out down my cock and all over my balls."
(photo)
"Hi you certainly are beautiful and sexy,i am gentle and sensual would start by kissing you, kissing my way down your neck whilst i run my hands up your top so i can feel your silky skin gliding my hands over your back and up your sides, kissing my way down to your breasts kissing you through your top then with my hand undoing your bra and taking it and your top off holding you up against my bare chest i love the feel of bare breasts against my chest , reaching down i run my hand up your leg untill i have your ass cheeks in my hands gently squeezing them now as i kiss your bare breasts i trace around your nipple with my tongue until it becomes hard with excitement my hand now moves to your front every so gently brushing your pussy through your panties until i can feel the fabric of your panties becoming moist now i start to kiss my way down your stomach stopping at your belly button and giving it a nice tender lick , my excitement grows as i can smell your desire kissing down to your panties i feel the wetness on my lips and my excitement is at boiling point as i slide your panties down your gorgeous legs i can now finally taste your desires licking and sucking your sweetness you hold my head tight against your pussy as you approach orgasm moaning loadly as you cum allover my tongue, i now sit and with you facing me i lower you down on my rock hard cock slowly you slide up and down getting faster as our excitement builds until we both explode with orgasm blowing my hot cum deep inside you as a mix of both of us oozes out down my cock and all over my balls."
(photo)
Notes: LOL is that your real name? Jeff Blank? This guy included a photograph of his face but not his dick, I actually thought that was a nice touch. He has a goatee! I have never had a man with a goatee "give my belly a nice tender lick", "suck my sweetness" or "kiss down to my panties while smelling my Desire" before. I actually stopped wearing Desire when they discontinued the eau de toilette gift packs but it's still cute that you noticed that, Jeff Blank. Most men don't. I also like your descriptiveness! You are somewhat of a writer, aren't you Jeff Blank? It's just your luck that I am particularly attracted to writers, however it is just your misfortune that I could pretty easily find a hotter and more interesting version of your erotic novelette on the internet. As well as hardcore porn. Gold star for effort!!!!!!!
Status: FAIL
Final notes: I think I've wasted my time.
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